Befriending Grace - Tim Keller (3)

Befriending grace

Kindness

John 15, Eph 5, and Titus 3

If you goodness isn’t beyond the Pharisees, you have no part in me. It doesn’t mean be a better doer, but have a better root system, be a better be-er. It is the difference between a morally restrained heart and a super-naturally changed heart.

What it is not – “be kind and compassionate”. No one would say they are unkind. “It’s really good people that are the inhuman ones.” A certain kind of kindness seems to be forced and unreal. A type of kindness where the native selfishness of the heart is not dealt with and the main reason you are kind is all about you, not the other person. Niche despises neighbor love from Christianity - morality for the weak. Subjection to morality can be slavish, vain, self-interested and therefore not morality at all - similar to Jesus’ view of the Pharisees.

There is a kind of niceness that needs everyone to be happy. Why? Because it makes you feel better about yourself. Some need everyone to be grateful. All natural affection is idolatrous and needs to be purified, because it is self serving. Most of it is based in a lack of confidence and inner strength.

Some need to be humbled into kindness. They have an abundance of confidence that causes them to be harsh, busy, condescending, and rights people off. Only with a supernatural change can one have real kindness.

You have to be in touch with your own heart that makes you more human so you can have real compassion and show kindness to others.

3 things:

Practical grace to meet needs. Build others up to benefit them, not you. What do they need to hear? Not what pleases them, but what benefits them. Harsh words can be kind.

Befriending grace. Not just giving things, but giving yourself. A mutual relationship, one another. True friends have 2 elements – transparency and constancy. They will let you in and never let you down. Jesus told us his business and gave his life for us. Openness, no spin, here is who I am. They don’t NEED you to be anything. Humility and confidence comes from a sense of inner fullness.

Visionary grace – Kindness toward an end. What’s the motive? What is the vision you have when you meet people? Could be those you have known a long time; could be those you meet and will never meet again. See people as spiritual acorns. Any human that is planted in God’s love has in them such potential, so beyond what they may be right now. Holy Spirit says that’s what I am after with every encounter. We should strive to get them to their glory selves.

C S Lewis Weight of Glory:

There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations, these are mortal and their live as to ours as the life of a gnat. It is a serious thing to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person that you talk to, may one day be a creature, which if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet if at all only in a nightmare. All day long we are helping in each in some degree to one or the other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another - all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics.

We want people to play a role that will make our story better, but that is not kindness. Enter their story to move them toward more hope and love, the way God has come into your life.

Where is the power coming from? Look to the God who was kind to us through Jesus (Titus 3:4-7). His arms were nailed opened for us. Real spiritual kindness takes radical humility and radical confidence that only comes from the constant kindness of Jesus. We must be humbled into that confidence. His life humbles us because we were so bad he HAD to die for us, but affirms us because we were so valuable that he WANTED to die for us.

Be kind and compassionate to one another as God was kind and compassionate to you through Jesus Christ.

Neighbors

It has been such a blessing to spend time with neighbors and shop owners we know from last year, and also to get to know new ones. We now have gotten to know 2 new neighbors and we are excited to begin friendships with them. Also, our new house is located very close to a new shopping area with a supermarket, juice/ice cream shop, and other small shops. As we frequent those, we are getting to know the shop owners there. We try to make friendships in our community with anyone who seems open and friendly. We even had a very nice visit a few days ago with the man who cleans the streets! God is bringing us new friends on a regular basis and we pray for opportunities to shine His light!

Click here some pics from the neighborhood.

COOL THING HAPPENED: Our family was walking a few blocks from our home the other day and Karoline said, “Mom, there’s a monkey.” I said, “What? Where’s a monkey?” In a small patch of grass in front of a house, partially hidden by small trees was a wooden cage. A woman was opening the cage and feeding a monkey! When we stopped to admire, she spoke to us in English and told us her boss bought the monkey in Baghdad. Then she went inside and got a piece of lettuce for Kate to feed the monkey (whose name is Lydia). An American man came out and spoke with us briefly (He asked "Where do y'all live?" Haven't heard "y'all" in about a month, except from us). They were a very friendly couple and we hope to see them again and get to know them—and their monkey, too! :o) Thanks, God, for little surprises that make us smile inside and out!

Start of school

The start of school has been slow as well. The first week was postponed due to the construction project not yet complete. The school now has 14 new classrooms and has almost 1000 people there every day from pre- kindergarten to seventh grade, including teachers and faculty. Then the first week of classes was shortened to half days because the air conditioning units still needed installation. And then on top of that, last Thursday some major component to the electrical system burned out and it is taking at least 3 days to fix, so classes have been suspended until the repairs can be done. Maybe one day we will actually get to teach! :o)

But aside from the potential stressors, our hearts are full with the many smiles that greeted us on our return. Many of the kids are the same, but most are a little bigger than when we last saw them. It is has been great seeing them again and hearing their voices. They all want to know if we remember them and their names. Our girls have been happy and excited to see the students again. We are getting to know our new students and learning to love them as we do our former ones.

Click here to see some pics.

House setup

The setup of our new house is going well. We got off to a slow start, but are now in the home stretch. It wasn’t easy trying to find what we needed in a big town, and with slowly improving language, but we learned a lot about the city and a lot of Kurdish by immersion. The challenge was frustrating and fun at the same time. At one end we needed to know how to understand directions from a national who was just trying to help, then try to communicate to the shop owner what we need (how many, what size, what color, etc.), and then on the other end, we had to try and talk with the delivery guys over the phone on how to find our house. (Keep in mind the delivery guys speak Kurdish and there is no address system here in Erbil.) In less than a week we should have our bedroom furniture. The girls are excited to be able to put their things away and stop living out of suitcases! The biggest items left to purchase are furniture pieces for the living room. We have found something we really like, but we are nearing the end of our budget, so we have a tough decision to make.

Click here to see some pictures of our house and here to see some fun pics from around the neighborhood.